No fooling us

Our reporters look at some of the amazing things that brands just so happen to be launching today.

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By Josh Kolm and Jennifer Horn

We’re not sure what it is about today, but there seems to be so many great campaigns and products launching. Here’s a look at the too-good-to-be-true things we’ve seen on this fine April day.

Burger Dock

Stomach, why do you always get in the way of our busy lives? We have calls to make, people to instant message, photos of cats to scroll through and emails to read and ignore. But none of that is possible when you’re hands deep in a meal (sometimes we fantasize about living out a Michael Keaton Multiplicity day). Thank the gods for the Burger Dock. Invented by the creative brains over at South St. Burger Co., this tabletop gadget holds a a burger in place, and at a convenient level, so that all you have to do is stretch out your neck and bite down. Did we mention it also comes with a drink holder for easy sipping?

“A great deal of research went into the design of the Burger Dock. No two people approach a burger the same way, so it was important that it swivel, adapt and respond to each bite and a variety of different eating styles,” says Alyssa Berenstein, marketing director at the QSR. Let the eating and (no error) tweeting begin!

UniVRsity

Are you like us? Did you waste your college and university years doing lame stuff like “studying” or “buckling down” or “planning to have a successful career and future” instead of just living life to the fullest and embracing the non-stop party going on around you? Well you’re in luck, because a group is trying to fund a project that uses virtual reality to help squares of all ages take that victory lap from the safety of your home. The project is currently being hosted on Toronto-based crowdfunding platform Tilt, so you can help people the world over relive the days where they didn’t have to worry about paying back their student loans (if you’re not still too deep in debt to do so, that is).

Poofume

This new fragrance smells like crap, but that’s okay. As this blog post from 3MillionDogs explains, poo-scented perfume Fetch by Fetch is the perfect one for the dog in your life to feel reinvigorated, due to its highly sensitive nose. The ad for the new perfume, developed in-house by 3MillionDogs founder Geoffrey Roche, features all the high-brow elements you’ve come to expect from fragrance spots. Black and white film of a beach. A breathy voiceover telling you to release your inner bitch. Chasing a ball into the water. Fetch by Fetch, which will surely be the next big thing for you pet pamperers out there, is exclusively available on 3MillionDogs’ e-commerce hub GoodDogDeals. And you can feel good about its people-sized price tag knowing that, like every purchase on the site, 5% of proceeds go to a local pet shelter.

Wingman

Now this is an app we can get behind. All you have to do is download Boston Pizza’s Wingman and with a tap on your screen, the restaurant’s caped crusader will come in and save whatever date you’re on from being a total trainwreck. It doesn’t just have to be in the restaurant, either. Need a goalie for the big game? Call Wingman. Disaster strikes on a family trip? Call Wingman. He’ll show up to save the day, all while delivering a tasty box of 24 Boston Pizza chicken wings.

Domi-no-driver

We’re becoming an impatient race, aren’t we? And it seems Domino’s is feeding into our decreasing inability to wait, with the fastest delivery in the west. They’re calling it the “#DomiNoDriver” and it’s the first-ever driverless delivery vehicle. And did we mention how adorable it is? We assume it has a cute robot face for us humans not to feel to afraid of a moving object with a mind of its own? God forbid robots take over! Good thing they’re programmed to do our bidding (for now). Seriously though, how many short years until this becomes a reality?

Prank-proof

Oh, is today April 1st? We had no idea. If you’re naive enough to fall for any April Fool’s pranks that might pop up in the next few hours, Virgin Mobile Canada is looking out for you. While the company has pulled its share of pranks in the past, this year it’s decided to take a helpful approach and is advising anyone who will listen about all the extreme measures they can go to in order to keep their dignity, from never sitting down to avoiding bathrooms at all costs.

Okialus Rift

Commuting getting you down? Can’t stand the gravel roads, bumper-to-bumper driving and billboard highways any longer? You’re in luck, because Kia is apparently sick of the rut too. In retaliation, the car company is letting its drivers drive blind, releasing the “Okialus Rift” — a vehicle with zero windows and only virtual reality views. So get out of the smoky city, and into a dirt-road path. Who cares for real-life when you can can have a virtual life. Why? Because reality is overrated.

Beardsurance

So you shaved a piece of your beard off by mistake. Stop staring at your stubble face in the mirror and wishing it back to good health. Haven’t you heard the saying, “a watched beard never grows”? Instead, get this cool, light-weight, totally believable beard mask from BrokerLink. “Beardsurance” is a new offering from the company, and it’s easy as pie to attach, as per the instruction in the ad created by Trigger. First, cut the beard with a pair of vintage scissors. Second, slide yarn (preferably hand-woven) through the entry holes. Third, strike the perfect beard selfie pose. And finally, fourth, share it with all of your followers using #BEARDSURANCE.

Bearded glory, here we come.

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From Stimulant