…than the awards they’ve won.
Who’s kidding whom? Awards are a damn good measure of talent. But is there anything else? With that in mind, Zig created this questionnaire. It’s time to probe deeper. That’s right, we said it. Probe.
Read on or see original layout.
1. Number of pairs of Adidas trainers owned:
a) 0-5
b) 6-10
c) 11-15
2. Uses cool British words like ‘trainers’?
a) Yup
b) Nope
c) Sometimes
3. Finds ideas:
a) After a near-religious epiphany
b) At the bottom of a pint
c) In someone else’s notebook
4. Keeps trophies:
a) On desk for all to bow down before
b) At home in personal shrine/masturbatorium
c) Wherever, ’cause it’s no big deal, bro
5. Guitar Hero level:
a) Easy
b) Medium
c) Hard
d) Unemployed
6. Favourite extravagance:
a) Booze
b) Clothes
c) Music
d) Interns
7. On set, will ensure:
a) The spot is good
b) The director stays on point
c) They totally get in on some of those breakfast burritos
8. Work proudly showcased at:
a) Cannes
b) The Smithsonian
c) Le frigo de Mom
9. Thinks dog walkers are:
a) Lame
b) Lame
c) Not lame if they did them
10. Ad-nerd level:
a) Low
b) Moderate
11. Plastic spectacle frames reminiscent of:
a) David Hockney
b) Andy Warhol
c) Dame Edna
12. Favourite book:
a) The Kite Runner
b) A Moveable Feast
c) Book?
13. Suffers from:
a) Visions of grandeur
b) Delusions of talent
14. Circle one:
a) Lives to work
b) Works to live
c) Cries self to sleep
15. Years spent living off one idea:
a) 0-1
b) 2-5
c) 6-10
16. Years spent as unpaid intern at ‘creative boutique’:
a) 0-1
b) 2-3
c) 4-99
17. When an idea gets killed will most likely:
a) Cry
b) Pout
c) Climb to the top of a bell tower with a .22
18. Favourite Dire Straits album:
a) Communiqué
b) Brothers In Arms
c) Making Movies
d) Dire Straits suck, dude
19. Source of creative drive and inspiration:
a) Love of job
b) Fear of failure
c) Bolivia
20. Favourite slogan:
a) ‘Just Do It’
b) ‘Impossible Is Nothing’
c) ‘I Cheetah All The Time’
21. Fall-back profession in case things don’t work out:
a) Civil War re-enactor
b) Pirate
c) Something to do with porn
22. Favourite Starbucks drink:
a) Tall Americano
b) Venti non-fat latté
c) Half double decaf decaffeinated half-caf
23. Thinks preceding joke was stolen from:
a) Mean Girls
b) L.A. Story
c) Sex and the City
24. Relationship to CD is like:
a) Benny Blanco to Carlito Brigante
b) The Artful Dodger to Fagin
c) Patty Hearst to the SLA
25. Thinks this survey is:
a) Strictly OK
b) Not bad
c) Shameless self-promotion for Niall Kelly Geoff Morgan Niall Kelly Geoff Morgan
Okay, now it’s time to tabulate your answers. Assign 1 point for each ‘A’ response, 2 points for ‘B’ and 3 points for ‘C’.
Then get a big letter ‘L’ and stick it on your forehead.
P.S. We love you.
