Strategy is instituting a new points system for next year’s Creative Report Card based on industry feedback and our personal interests.* Please note the new ways you may be awarded points, as well as various ways agencies may earn demerit points:
Campaign cat integration:
• One cat: +5 points
• Two or more cats: +10 points
• Cats driving vehicles: +20 points
(John St. is currently in the lead)
• People portraying cats: -20 points
(BBDO and TBWA currently in contention)
Campaigns with talking inanimate objects:
• Cleaning supplies: -5 points
• Germs/bacteria: -10 points
• Food (especially cereal): -15 points
NOTE: Double the points will be subtracted if the objects are singing and/or dancing.
Creative “accomplishments”:
• “Inventive” use of the “first ever” claim: -10 points
• Creative accounting in the ROI field: -20 points
• Purely fabricated metric systems for new media efforts: -32 points
Sending in your own points tally calculations:
• By email: -5 points
• In a PowerPoint presentation: -10 points
• Authenticated by PricewaterhouseCoopers: +40 points
Agency parties:
• DJ flown in from New York: +5 points
• All-you-can-eat sushi: +10 points
• Open bar, including signature cocktail: +30 points
• Held at Cannes: +50 points
Lobbying for certain award shows to be included/deleted from list:
• Speaking out against regional award shows (because they’re “not fair” to Ontario agencies): -5 points
• Complaining that the show you won the most for isn’t included: -50 points
• Creating an agency brand naming protocol that channels all points together: +75 points (for all competitors)
Asking strategy staff where your agency ranks before the list goes public:
• Asking in an email: -10 points
• Asking on the phone: -15 points
• Asking on the phone at the beginning and end of a conversation, followed by an email: -1,000 points
*This list is fake† so please don’t come to us with amendments to your points for next year based on it. We know a few of you will try.
†As of press time. Don’t tempt us.
