When strategy heard that The Bay beat out Roots for the right to outfit Canada’s Olympians, we wondered what emblematic style cues they would work from – Courier du bois or that striped blankie? When we stopped itching, we began to ponder what might have transpired if some other famous iconic brands had won the gear contract.
Personally, we think Holt’s should dress our teams – if they didn’t win, at least they’d look fabulous….
We asked Noel O’Dea, president of St. John’s, Nfld.-based Target Marketing & Communications, to visualize some failed fictional pitches, so his creative team took a break between scooping up radio awards and a seemingly weeklong St. Paddy’s Day celebration to dream up
some concepts.
The results? A line of brand-interpretive ünifoorms that could have been
podium material.
Nortel
Athletes will sport wooden barrels made from 100% recycled B.C. redwood. Each barrel is equipped with computer cable straps for extra support. As an added bonus, athletes will receive matching computer
cable headbands.
IKEA
Each easy-to-assemble uniform comes with instructions, complete with Allen key. One size fits all. Uniforms will be shipped flat, and will have quirky Scandinavian names like ‘Olimpik’ or ‘Ünifoorm.’ IKEA is not responsible for missing and/or damaged parts.
Labatt
In a nod to its advertising, Labatt proposes unisex Olympic outfits consisting of a wool toque and bikini. A very small bikini. Since 90% of heat loss comes from the head, the toque will keep athletes warm during the winter events, like luge and figure skating. Bikini top is optional.
Tim Hortons
In honour of Tim’s best customers, athletes will sport police uniforms, complete with Tasers (to be used in the opening and closing ceremonies only). Each pocket will be stuffed with samples of the QSR’s new doughnut of the month – Canadian Bacon.
