Satellite radio is on its way. You can’t stop it, so you might as well deal. To help out, we asked creative types for ideas on how brands can take advantage of the new multi-channel universe.

Three from the east

1. Clients: Gain detergent and Viagra

Proposal: Co-sponsorship of a satellite radio talk show called ‘Talk Dirty To Me.’

2. Clients: The Weather Channel and House

of Blues

Proposal: A satellite show called ‘The Atlantic Canada Weather Report.’

3. Clients: Headline News and

Depends undergarments

Proposal: A 24-hour satellite news channel called ‘On the Go.’

Shawn King, CD; Iain Deans, copywriter; and Tyson Hynes,

art director, Extreme Group, Dartmouth, N.S.

The Bacardi party podcast

For most, the party lifestyle is confined to the weekend. The Bacardi Party Podcast transforms it into a daily experience, bringing club culture to your morning commute or lunch break. This podcast would intensify Bacardi’s current ‘party companion’ positioning, as well as introduce a platform to create viral buzz about products and events. It’s also the logical distribution extension of the free content already on the Bacardi Web site and becomes a source for real-time market research.

Eli Singer, marketing & communications strategist, Spencer Francey Peters, Toronto

Chevy gets psychedelic

XM Radio is aligned with GM. The automaker could get more mileage from its current Ed ‘Big Daddy’ Roth-inspired campaign for the Chevy Cobalt SS by sponsoring a show like Little Steven’s Underground Garage. The hot-rod, street brat attitude and look of the Cobalt stuff would find its perfect audio complement in the snarling, psychedelic garage-punk music championed by Little Steven’s show.

Greg Freir, würstlingroup, Toronto

Or if all else fails…

Lyrical product placement

Make sure that products and services are liberally mentioned in the lyrics of all new music. We can go the extra mile by

re-writing and re-recording music that already exists. Here are some examples, across several music platforms:

Country: ‘Your cheatin’ heart/Will make you weep/You’ll need Nytol/To get to sleep.’

Pop: ‘I just called to say ‘I love you – and I saved a bundle on car insurance.”

Classic rock: ‘Hey Jude, have you driven a Ford lately?’

Fear. For us, it’s good

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Let’s do what we do best and mount an advertising campaign that plays upon the basest and most powerful human emotion, fear. Satellite radio comes from outer space, and it’s hard to spell. Can you say Lord of the Flies?

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em

We fund our own satellite radio station, which runs nothing but the very best in Canadian advertising, along with heartfelt pleas from the children of ad executives to have mercy on them and their futures by listening to commercial radio.

Operation monkey blow

Let’s pool our money and engage in a secret project with disgruntled NASA scientists to develop special monkey-piloted, explosives-laden spacecraft to be aimed at the satellites that transmit the radio signals. Should it be deemed unethical to send monkeys on these suicide missions, we can use interns instead.

Joe O’Neill, copywriter and Patrick Karasiuk, art director, Due North Communications, Toronto