It seems the nature of what is and isn’t media has become very porous lately. It got us pondering whether there was any scope left for a planner to deviate from the path.

So we asked Dentsu to have a think on the subject. After all, they did create Beggartising and Tatootising to promote MiC Forum. And the agency counts online casino GoldenPalace among its clients – a marketer known for placing logos on every conceivable portion of the body and buying the Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese.

Here’s what they came up with (minus the condom-vertising).

Is there any place for marketers to boldly go where no ad has gone before?

Bottom’s up

There are certainly a number of adult beverage brands looking for exposure and surely in-bar is the battleground where the war is to be won. Alcohol advertising involves finding the best-known tipplers in any given bar and offering a small sum to place an advertising message on their shoe bottoms. When they inevitably hit the floor, voila, the sponsor’s logo is exposed to the gawking masses with striking confirmation that they have indeed come across another satisfied customer.

Shit’s happening

Toilet seat advertising? But how can it be read? Patrons feeling the ills of a poor brand selection can be given an alternate choice for their next social occasion, the timely message delivered as the ‘heavy user’ is strongly considering a brand switch.

Cartology

Packaged goods are always a challenge. Save your traditional television and print spend and gather an army of ‘Cart Stalkers.’ This group will silently trail unsuspecting grocery shoppers obsessively attempting to slip your product into their cart. By the time the shoppers hit the checkout and realize they have a stowaway on board, they are simply too lazy or too embarrassed to return it and our sampling program

is complete.

Focus group

Looking for total ubiquity? Clients like Coca-Cola, Nike and Apple are pretty good at being everywhere. But are they truly everywhere? That’s where contact lens advertising comes in. One phone call and your brand message is cleverly hidden on the contact lenses of millions of unsuspecting users who believe that they cannot turn their head without seeing a sea of swoosh or a bevy of bitten apples.

So is deviant media a bad thing? Cheating? Inherently evil? Not if it works. Make it your friend and sleep well at night knowing that a sale is a sale is a sale, no matter how (and where) you make it.

Chris Pastirik and Friends, Dentsu Canada